A bit of humor to start the week

Sorry I didn't have enough time to finish the new article I was planning on submitting today, so I have a bit of humor instead.

For those of us applying for jobs, it can surprise you how strange what some of the applications ask for.

(if you can't see the entire image, click on it)

Good luck with everyone in the job hunting process! It may take a lot of effort, but keep it up. Have a great week.

I just forgot something else interesting. The website, bacolicio.us has a blot listing a plethora of bacon related websites. It even has a neat little part in which you can turn any website into bacon. For example, take a look at this blog.

Financial advice

We are all aware of the economic situation in our nation and many of us have been affected by it. I for one have noticed at my work already measures to cut costs, which have fortunately not resulted in layoffs so far. For many companies it isn't a matter of if, but when.

For example, rumor has it that Microsoft intends to layoff up to 15,000 employees this month marking the first layoffs in Microsoft history. There are many other tech companies that have already laid off a significant portion of their staff. Forbes even has their own layoff tracker. For a more detailed account of companies, TechCrunch has a more detailed layoff tracker.

I am sorry that I had to post some grim news about the job market, but my point is that everyone needs to have their finances prepared for any unfortunate circumstance including layoffs. If you are prepared, you will be in a much better position financially until you find another job. If it takes a lot longer to obtain your next job, it is possible to still survive with a positive credit history.

The first thing you should consider is your company's severance package and take that into account when you plan for a rainy day. Many jobs won't have anything or something very limited, so it is good to know exactly what you are going to get.

According to many financial sources, it is very important to establish an emergency fund. This basically entails a savings of 3-6 months of expenses. For many, this might range from $1,000 to $10,000. Everyone has different needs, so it is up to everyone to choose what fits.

Upon being laid off, your emergency fund will cover your expenses for awhile. It can last even longer if you take an active measure of cutting your expenses. The Consumerist Blog has a post on this matter titled, "Top 9 Good Habits For A Deep Recession." These tips are very helpful in determining how your are spending your money regardless of your employment status.

Lastly, if you need help determining your financial situation, take a look at mint.com's free personal finance software. This application works over the Internet and helps you do things like paying off your debt and tracking your finances. It even has programs to help you pay off your credit card debt, which I strongly recommend.

If you want to learn more about cutting expenses, try reading a book entitled, "How to Survive Without a Salary: Learning How to Live the Conserver Lifestyle." It is sold very cheap used online and has been recommended by a friend.

Humor for the new year

Congratulations on everyone reaching the new year!

I just stumbled upon a site that sells something bacon...


I know that nobody should even tempt fate by ruining bacon's scrumptious taste, but it is a new year and everyone should try new things. By new things I hope it isn't just trying out bacon flavored gumballs.

Speaking of new things, I have a few more posts this next week that should help everyone out when being unemployed, underemployed, or just plain employed.

The first one will be published as soon as I can write it tonight.

For those that do want to tempt fate hit the Link

Humor of the Month

Yeah, I haven't made a humor post in a long time, but this time its different. Instead of posting something funny about bacon, it is about resumes. Supposedly from the joke itself, these are real statements found on resumes.

Extracts from Funny Resumes

1. 'I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.'

2. 'I have lurnt Word for Widows, computor operations and spreasheet progroms.'

3. 'I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.'

4. 'Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.'

5. 'Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.'

6. 'Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.'

7. 'It's best for employers that I not work with people.'

8. 'Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.'

9. 'You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.'

10. 'Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.'

11. 'I was working for my mom until she decided to move.'

12. 'Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.'

13. 'I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.'

14 'I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my résumé on my office voice mail.'

15. 'I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing. '

16. 'My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.'

Teaching Positions

Karina Stratton wrote on the H-4 Google group the following job openings:

*Hey All - This is where I work - It's a great place - feel free to contact
me as well if you have questions. -Karina Stratton*
**
*Stillwater** Academy***

11175 S. Redwood Rd.

South Jordan, UT 84095

484-9911 (phone)

302-7954 (fax)

Marilyn Prettyman, Principal

Stillwater is a private high school associated with a therapeutic program
for at-risk youth. The students are in therapy throughout the day and
attend high school from 3:30 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. Monday though Friday and 9:30
a.m. to 1:00 p.m. on Saturday.

It is a great place to work; you actually are able to teach. If there is a
problem with a student, it is quickly resolved with the help of the program
counselors.

We are in need of two teachers right now.

1. P. E. Teacher

- Must be certified in physical education.
- Will teach on Fridays (3:30 to 6:45 p.m.) and Saturdays (9:30 a.m.
to 1:00 p.m.).
- Will teach three classes of about 10 – 12 students in each class.
- Must respect and enjoy young people.
- Will plan activities that will help the students develop lifetime
fitness.

1. Spanish Teacher

§ Must be certified to teach Spanish in high school.

§ Will teach on Monday through Thursdays. (3:30 – 6:45 p.m.)

§ Will teach two classes a night.

§ Must respect and enjoy young people.

§ Will do more than just teach the lesson in the book and have the
students do worksheets. The classes will be small which will allow for a
lot of conversation and real-life situations to teach the language.

If you are interested, please email a resume to
marilyn.pretty...@gmail.comand set up an appointment for an interview.
Please pass this message on to anyone who might be interested in applying
for the position.

Any teachers, take notice and apply if you are interested.

Making Good first Impressions

I just stumbled upon and article I read earlier this year, which actually helped me succeed in all of the interviews I had earlier this year. It is from the Art of Manliness, which is a site I read from time to time. One particular piece of advice that helped me was about giving an impressive handshake. This element in the interview is key to making sure they seriously consider you for the job.

Link

Matthew Piccolo at his work has some positions available:

Sutherland Institute has three new job opportunities for individuals
dedicated to our mission and governing principles.

The positions are:

Media Relations Coordinator
Community Relations Manager
Development Manager

To learn about each position and to apply, please go here:

http://www.sutherlandinstitute.org/newsletter/newsletter.asp?n=98

Free free to e-mail me with any questions.

matthew c. piccolo

Don't hesitate to contact Matthew at justandholy@gmail.com if you are interested.